


"Castiel is dead, Dean"

by Deancebra



Series: Supernatural Art by Deancebra [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Feels, Gore, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, Illustrations, M/M, NSFW Art, dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 07:46:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11226477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deancebra/pseuds/Deancebra
Summary: Dean had never anticipated to loose him so soon after they had said "I do" to one another.





	"Castiel is dead, Dean"

**Author's Note:**

> check them warns / tags. I don't put them for fun and skittles. 
> 
> Basicly how I think Dean would react to loose Cas after they have finally realised their feelings for one another.

Do you know how it feels to be alone?

It follows me, Cas. It sneaks up upon me like an animal, hunting for blood. I can feel the breath of loneliness and I can only pray that someone will hunt it away from me. I used to pray to you.

Keep me close.

The beast is like a shadow, always following. Sometimes almost invisible, but always there. They can’t see it. They don’t know what to look for.

Hold me tight.

They tell me what I want to hear: That you are okay, somewhere, out there. That I was worth your love, worth your care. One day I may listen to them.

Maybe they will see it.

I am not okay, but I keep pretending. They don’t know what to look for, they don’t know the questions to ask.

I miss you.

You made me believe that life is a gift, that I am more than pain and emptiness. You made me feel safe, at the least for a while. I need you to hold me close, I need to hear your beating heart. I need you now Cas.

Why don’t you tell me, that I am okay?

I need you. I need to know that I am a good man, that I matter. I wasn’t just a replaceable statist, passing through your life? You made me feel that I belonged somewhere.

I’m scared.

You are dead, like the rest of them. You let me have the taste of something, just to take it with you in the grave.

It hurts.

I’m alone. I suppose you understand. You are the one that left me.

I’m sorry.

I know I was never good enough, I know you deserved better. I tried to tell you, when you shut me up with tender kisses. I tried to make you see, others have so much more to offer. You could be happy with someone else.

I hurt you.

Again and again. I caused you so much pain, so much agony. Yet you kept pushing until you had carved yourself a hole in my heart and soul.

I cared too much. I pushed you away. I loved too much, feared that you would turn your back on me. Rather hurt someone, than get hurt yourself. Right Cas?

You said you would be there.

So where are you now? I have spread my wings, I tried to fly and I hurt myself trying. You said you would pick up the pieces, never leave me be.

I am praying to you, Cas.

Why won’t you answer?

 

 

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=sq2f55)


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